April 2009
126 posts
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Jack and Jill are on a date when Jack asks Jill, “have you ever had magic sex?” Jill replies “no, what’s that?” And Jack says, “that’s when we have sex… and then you disappear.”
March 2009
85 posts
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The Myth of Business School Expertise →
MBA jobs on Wall Street and at big consultants are disappearing and they won’t return to their previous stature.
Supply of MBAs is actually increasing now that job prospects seem so dim.
Idea of a true “teachable body” of useful business knowledge is a myth.
A blind, rational belief in efficient markets — which is what you might learn in many B-schools — is way...
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Did any of the railroads manage to become... →
“The conventional wisdom is that all media companies need to figure out how to take their business model and transform it to the web – Almost all of them have heeded the late Harvard Professor Theodore Levitt’s famous lesson of what killed the railroads: “They thought they were in the railroad business, not the transportation business.” But after ten years of following Levitt’s advice, it’s...
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The next time someone tries to one-up you in a conversation whatever they’ve just done or bought, respond by saying, “Yes, but does it have a death ray?”
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Thank you, Roger Ebert. Three and a half stars for The Great Buck Howard.
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Use judgment when expressing what's on your mind... →
“A new cautionary tale surfaced last week when a Twitter user posted an update saying: “Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work.” A Cisco employee responded: “Who is the hiring manager? I’m sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are...
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Jenny says, “Did you know Bar Louie on (1321 W.) Taylor gives free donut holes and mini bloody mary’s pre-brunch on Sunday’s? New favorite place!”
In Little Italy, within the University Village just west of UIC.
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“Write drunk. Edit sober.”
– Tennessee Williams
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Two guys get in a car accident. Both of them get out of their vehicles; one pulls out a flask and says, “Here, have a nip. it’ll help calm your nerves.” The other guy, as he’s taking a swig says, “Thanks. You should have one too.” To which the first guy responds, “No thanks. The police will be here any minute.”
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Society doesn't need newspapers, it needs...
Emily Nussbaum: “Clay Shirky published an elegy for the news industry, a sad analysis with a Cracker Jack prize inside: “Society doesn’t need newspapers. What we need is journalism.” It may sound funny, but in this era of reinvention, (Jon) Stewart stands at that vanguard, with Joshua Micah Marshall, ProPublica, even Wikipedia - odd, aggressive experiments that at their...
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“Luxury needs to engage ideas.”
– Graphic designer Susan Sellers
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“In your twenties, you try and look serious, and after your twenties, you just...”
– Meredith Whitney, Oppenheimer analyst, reminds me why I love women in their 30s.
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Considering getting my drink of choice printed on a business card so that I never have to yell for it again at a bar. Jack + ice. In pictograms. With a “Thank You” printed across the bottom.
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“You are good at it. Especially people like me. You have just changed my life...”
– My friend Jennifer makes my day
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“There’s no such thing as a nice Catholic girl”
– Lauren
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JR: A white pony.
Me: Why not just ask for a unicorn while you're at it?
JR: You're right, a unicorn sounds more magical. Pony just doesn't do it.
Me: You know what else is magical?
JR: Fill me in.
Me: You are.
JR: Oh, my heart has just melted, turned into chocolate and now I am eating it with a strawberry.
Me: Excuse me I have to go find my breath
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America's Unhealthiest Restaurants →
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Are men stupid?
From the inbox: “In another rant, I’m actually tired of the “men are stupid” mantra that keeps getting perpetuated… Are there stupid men? Yep. Are there childish women? Yep. One of Steve (Harvey)’s responses to a lady’s question…
After a few dates, some guys just stop returning calls and texts. Even if they aren’t interested, don’t they...
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Zagat Outtakes →
“Anorexic portions at obese prices.”
“If I want to be ignored, I can stay home with my family.”
“An experience only a suburbanite would tolerate.”
“Overrated, overhyped, overlook it.”
“If they ain’t serving these pies in heaven, then I don’t wanna go.”
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“Even Michael Jordan had a coach”
– What P. Diddy said to Jay-Z in order to make him a producer on American Gangsta’
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10 Dead or Dying PR Tactics →
10) Newspaper-based Media Relations Strategy
9) Deskside Reporter Meetings
8) Media packets
7) Video news releases
6) Audio news releases
5) Media map
4) Blast faxing
3) Mailed newsletters
2) Bacon’s media guides
1) Mailed reporter pitches
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5 Second Rule for iPhone Games →
“I think the defining thing is how quickly you can describe your product to someone else.” That is to say, the most successful apps are straightforward and can be described to potential customers quickly and easily. He used the strategy game Galcon versus a “crappy” mood ring app dubbed Mood Touch as an example. The latter broke the top ten in downloads while the former...
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Watch
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What do you call a female player? A pimpette? One of the most popular excuses for evading plans is “I left my phone at the office.” I don’t think I’d ever use that, but it’s been told to me before. Well, now I know.
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Get Your Degree in Drive-In at Sonic 101 →
Prepare to be schooled in Sonic. The Sonic Drive-In guys do bonehead simple tutorials on Sonic menu items. Man on the left does improv at Improv Olympic on Wednesday nights, and the dude to your right is now a writer for Stephen Colbert.
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“Put a glide in your stride, a dip in your hip, and come on up to the mothership”
– Parliament Funkadelic
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Philip Chang published in REALTOR magazine →
An article I wrote on commercial information exchanges, the feature in this month’s REALTOR magazine. Circulation 1.2 million!
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Why did Michael Carlson vanish the day after... →
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Unreleased demo from Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
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Thoughts on the Social Media News Release
Oracle recently adopted pieces of the social media news release, where the entire document is given in bullet points. Some of my colleagues think the format is news, but I think the only news here is the fact that Oracle is doing it. The format’s been around for several years now. I think it works for the technology industry, where you live and die by online perception, not so much...
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Cheering up a radiologist for having to cancel our...
Me: By the way, did you know irradiated cats have 18 half-lives?
KD: You are so funny. I find your sense of humor just great! You make me laugh. Thanks for being so cool!
Me: Haha - and thanks for being so (KD).
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My NCAA bracket is doing well. That’s because I wrote it in chalk.
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'Axe Effect' more potent for men →
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“When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you...”
– Chinese proverb
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blogga please
Recently I was asked to provide my dos centavos on an Agency blog, and I think these are things to keep in mind, if the big idea is to using it to generate new business:
Get away from talking about the past„ the things others have already spoken about because it adds no value. Unless the author is Jack Welch.
Think about how you can make new with the blog. A different way to tell the...
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Two atoms are in a bar together when one says to the other, “I think I’ve lost an electron.” The other says, “are you sure?” To which the first atom responds, “I’m positive!”
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Virginia Tech is the dirtiest team in college basketball.
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In a world riddled with ADD, where TMI blogging... →
1) Agencies have competition from places they never saw coming - interactive agencies, community management companies.
2) Social media leaders within brands don’t always come out of the PR/marketing group but can come from product development, customer service or business development.
3) Press releases are still relevant. Reporters need background. ”We’re not charging to write...
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How to move a stock price
“The worst is over” - Frederick W. Smith, FedEx CEO. FDX now up 2.38 points.